#No Filter: I’m 30 and Just Learned to Love Myself

We’ve all been subconsciously (or not so subconsciously) trained to see ourselves through someone else’s lens. Whether that’s with a magazine filter, societal influence, or just straight-up judgment, it never feels right. It never feels good. But we’re a new generation that’s rejecting that tired perspective and actively shaping what beauty really looks like.

For our first Unfiltered Series, meet Shayna. She’s the Social Media Strategist here at Shapermint, a contributor in rewriting the beauty narrative, and above all, a champion for self-love. Read on to hear a chapter of her self-love journey.

Having a soft body doesn’t mean you have failed.

This post from body-positive advocate @sophthickfitness struck a chord with me.

The earliest memories I have of self-doubt were in high school. At 16-years-old I had thick thighs and a pronounced chest. I was always a little curvier than the other girls, and never quite looked the part of the women in magazines - tall, slender, and a size 2. (Hello 90’s).

Looking back on it, I wish I had embraced and appreciated my body, and over the years, I have had my share of struggles with body image. Depending on what I saw in the media and what was deemed the “it” body of the moment, I either loved or hated what I saw in the mirror.

In my 30’s, something changed, especially over the last year of the pandemic. I had put on a significant amount of weight in a year and a half. So much so that I no longer recognized myself in the mirror. One morning I woke up, stood in front of the mirror for 10 minutes, and just stared at every single part of my body that I had deemed not worthy.

This body of mine, the one that had gained all the weight this past year, this body, that for so many years recovered time and time again from emotional eating. The body that had gotten me through so many ups and downs in my life. I deemed it not worthy, even though it had never failed me no matter how badly I treated it.

I cried for about 5 minutes, wiped my tears away, and decided at that moment I did not want to keep fighting this battle of self-hatred anymore. Something changed that morning, and I decided enough was enough. I was going to learn to love my body exactly how it was at that moment, and how it serves me every single day.

As Sophia said, having a soft body doesn’t mean you failed. To me, it means you’ve learned to love yourself just as you are in that moment. Not how you used to be, not for how you envision yourself being in the future, but just as you are, today.

If this last year and a half have taught me anything, it’s to be kind and gentle with yourself and take self-love one day at a time. xo Shayna, Social Strategist - Shapermint

Want to share your self-love journey with us? Spread the love and tag us @Shapermint on social or comment below!